I’m sure by now pretty much everyone has seen the cover of the latest Time Magazine.

I, of course, have a few thoughts- just like pretty much everyone else out there.

1) Way to stay classy there, Time. Congratulations on that slide into sensationalism. It’s just what we all need.   And, yes, I am annoyed that I can’t really ignore this as is befitting of trash.   Thank you oh so much for adding yet more fuel to the Mommy War fire, Time.  I was JUST thinking “Gee. There hasn’t been a good battle in the Parenting Wars in oh…days.”

2) The worst part of this is not the photo, believe it or not.   No. The worst part of this is of course the commenters on pretty much every post out there.  After you weed out the ridiculous claims that this is all the fault of one political party or another (really? This photo just proves liberals are really just socialists?? What?) you get down the “fun” ones.   The comments that claim that one parenting style is better than another. 

One parent went as far to claim that she “promised her child would be better adjusted and happier than yours” because she utilized this method or that.

OK. Hold the phone.

This is what has really chapped my hide.  “If you parent this way, you will absolutely end up with an angelic, well adjusted, happy child”.

You know what?  Fuck you.

Pay attention because I am about to drop some serious knowledge on your head.

THERE IS NO RIGHT ANSWER. THERE IS NO ONE ANSWER TO LIFE, UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING SO BACK THE FUCK OFF. (except 42, but we all know about that).

Truth:Every single parent today is doing the same damn thing every single parent was doing 2000 years ago everywhere. 

WE. ARE. WINGING. IT.

Every single parent is trying to find that one thing that will keep that one child in line and alive for the next 15 minutes.  That one thing is going to look different for every single parent and for every single kid.  And we have to wing it because as much as we might wish otherwise, our children do not come equipped with their own manuals.

Attachment parenting is not the answer.  Unless it is for your kid.  (Aside: The thought of my daughter putting up with attachment parenting for even one minute makes me laugh giant belly laughs).

Free Range parenting is not the answer. Unless it is for your kid.

We can go on down the line for every book and every style,  but the answer is going to be the same.  It all depends on the parent and the kid and what you both can manage.

So, if you think that Dr. Sears is the last word in parenting, you’re a fool.  If you think you are going to get parenting enlightenment from the internet, you’re a fool. If you think celebrities know something you don’t about parenting, you’re a fool.

It’s really past time to shut the fuck up about about what is the “best” way to raise a child and just go about your own business of raising YOUR child the best way you can figure out how and I will do the same with my Spawn.  I will even make you a deal. I will not say one word about your parenting choices if you agree to do the same about mine.

Deal?