The Kitchen Table Chronicles

“Stop the Glorification of Busy” I don’t think there are words to describe just...

Wed, 03 Oct 2012 20:28:00 -0700

“Stop the Glorification of Busy”

I don’t think there are words to describe just how annoying I find this.

Particularly after a day like today.

Look. I get the whole everyone is busy thing. Trust me. I get it. I am not trying to negate any one else’s packed schedule.

If anything, I am commiserating.

I honestly don’t know what else to call my day most days. They’re full of chores and DRIVING. If I were still in elementary school we would call that busy work. Much like the stacks of homework I nag the kids into doing each night. And, much like the stacks of homework the kids are doing what I’m doing is not particularly exciting. It’s not particularly meaningful (except in the fact that the EPA won’t declare my house a superfund site). It’s not even particularly satisfying.
It’s not what I would elect to do with my time given a perfect world.

It is what it is. It is what I do.
I. AM. BUSY.

It is a fact of life. For everyone.

So excuse the fuck out of me if I respond with “busy” when people ask me what I’ve been doing with myself.

Trust me, it’s far kinder than giving a blow by blow account of the daily comings and goings around Casa Chaos.

If a true accounting is really wanted, I’ll be happy to deliver.

laughingsquid: Breaking Bad Portrait Illustrations by Jon...

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 22:50:03 -0700

laughingsquid:

Breaking Bad Portrait Illustrations by Jon Defreest

I don’t know…Saul looks pretty menacing there.

cracked: “It’s always great to catch up with a dear old...

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 22:45:48 -0700

cracked:

“It’s always great to catch up with a dear old friend.” - @HamillHimself

This is all kinds of awesome!

Important Dates Masterlist

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 22:44:35 -0700

September 1, 2012: Doctor Who Season 7 Premiere
September 6, 2012: Fashion's Night Out, Video Music Awards
September 17, 2012: Bones season premiere
September 21, 2012: The Perks of Being a Wallflower
September 24, 2012: How I Met Your Mother season premiere
September 27, 2012: The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling
October 2, 2012: The Mark of Athena by Rick Riordan
October 3, 2012: Supernatural season premiere
November 16, 2012: Breaking Dawn Part 2
November 18, 2012: American Music Awards
January 13, 2013: Golden Globe Awards
February 10, 2013: Grammy Awards
February 12, 2013: The Indigo Spell by Richelle Mead
February 24, 2013: Academy Awards
March 19, 2013: Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare
March 29, 2013: The Host
March 30, 2013: Kids Choice Awards
May 3, 2013: Iron Man 3
May 17, 2013: Star Trek 2
June 14, 2013: Man of Steel
August 16, 2013: Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters
August 23, 2013: The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones
November 8, 2013: Thor: The Dark World
November 22, 2013: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
March, 19, 2014: City of Heavenly Fire by Cassandra Clare
April 4, 2014: Captain America: The Winter Soldier
May 2, 2014: The Amazing Spider-Man 2
May 23, 2014: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
July 18, 2014: X-Men: Days of Future Fast
August 1, 2014: Guardians of the Galaxy
November 21, 2014: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1
May 1, 2015: The Avengers 2
November 20, 2015: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

Forever reblog so that all of us nerds know!

"As many as 50,000 Republicans and 15,000 members of the media are expected to descend on the Tampa..."

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 10:59:36 -0700

“

As many as 50,000 Republicans and 15,000 members of the media are expected to descend on the Tampa Bay area next week, and the uncertainty of predicting the track of a hurricane so many days in advance means that hotels, restaurants and convention goers may not know until this weekend whether to expect sunny skies or an outright deluge.

When it comes to that all-important forecast, conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh saw more conspiracy.

“The National Hurricane Center, a government agency, [is] very hopeful that the hurricane gets near Tampa. The National Hurricane Center is Obama. It’s the National Weather Service, part of the Commerce Department, it’s Obama,” Limbaugh said on his program yesterday.

”

- - The Daily

No, this is not The Onion. Limbaugh is serious, and there are a whole lot of very stupid people who agree with him.

BWHAHAHAHA! Hurricanes as conspiracy theories. I LOVE it. The stupidity…

laughingsquid: Cats Who Love To Knock Stuff Off Tables This...

Tue, 21 Aug 2012 21:28:10 -0700

laughingsquid:

Cats Who Love To Knock Stuff Off Tables

This cat is just a novice. Reggie prefers to knock over 32 oz cups full of ice water. Preferably on my head.

Further adventures in the "Is it Tatting" wars

Tue, 14 Aug 2012 16:14:51 -0700

Last weekend the Diva had a soccer tournament up North allowing a small family reunion. One of Diva’s cousins was also playing in the tournament and another cousin (M) who lives in the area was able to come watch some of the games.

M saw me pull out my tatting (wonderful how portable it is!) and asked what I was doing.

I’m tatting.

First words out of her mouth? “Oh! Have you seen the tatting you can do on the sewing machine?”

This. This is the very reason for my prior diatribe on Faux Tatting. M has never seen anyone tat before last weekend. She had never handled it, had barely even heard of tatting. But somewhere she had seen the faux tatting listed as tatting and assumed that what she was looking at WAS tatting.

It’s not. And this is why those websites selling machine embroidery patterns marked as “tatting” are a problem.

Bwahahahaha! Um, whoops?

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 18:01:07 -0700

Bwahahahaha! Um, whoops?

cracked: newsweek: Did Chick-fil-A Pretend to Be a Teenage...

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 13:54:35 -0700

cracked:

newsweek:

Did Chick-fil-A Pretend to Be a Teenage Girl on Facebook?

Yes.

Dear Chick-fil-A
Just stop. Your PR people are idiots who can’t figure out when STFU is the best policy.

that-witch-bitch: davidtennantspants: queenofjacks: the...

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 18:08:26 -0700

that-witch-bitch:

davidtennantspants:

queenofjacks:

the muppets ended their partnership with chik-fil-a over their blatant anti-gay remarks, and chik-fil-a is now lying about it. spread the word, yo.

also, keep supporting the muppets, those guys are amazing.

Wow, Chick-fil-a, way to be absolute douches.

Ouch

Way to stay classy, Chick-FIL-A. Way to stay classy.

A Plea

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 13:02:44 -0700

I admit I am a huge, snobby, hipster nerd in one regard.

Tatting. I have posted pictures of my tatting projects here in the past.

For those of you who don’t know Tatting is defined by Webster as
“a delicate handmade lace formed usually by looping and knotting with a single cotton thread and a small shuttle.”

Technically, that isn’t entirely correct because you can use a shuttle or a needle to tat.

Where am I going with this?

Recently I ran across a woman who is selling patterns (instructions) for “tatted” Christmas tree garlands. The problem with this is, what she is selling isn’t tatting at all. It is instructions for machine embroidery that resembles tatting.

There are a lot of people commenting on her Facebook page about what difference does that “tatting” title make as they can produce the embroidery version with far less effort than the real deal?

That effort is the very point. By the very definition tatting involves a person tying BY HAND thousands of tiny knots to create a piece of lace. Yes, it takes time. Yes, it takes effort. That time and effort culminates in a piece of lace that has a very distinctive weight and feel to it. A distinction that someone who is versed in the art of lacemaking can see instantly.

Sadly, that is a small group of people. The vast majority of people have never witnessed either tatting or bobbin lace in the process, nor have they ever handled handmade lace. It breaks my heart that someone would look at that machine embroidery and think what was produced there was actually tatting. The other aspect that is disturbing is many of the designs on this particular website bear an uncomfortable resemblance to copyrighted tatting patterns. Not identical, but close enough to say “Hey! Haven’t I seen that before?”, and close enough that I can see a fight brewing over it in the future. And therein lies the tatting/not tatting sticking point.

If you are a tatter and you happen to be gifted enough to make your own patterns, please, please keep an eye on them. I would really hate to see someone get caught in that trap.

If you have EVER thought “Gee, it might be kind of cool to learn how to tat” please, please PLEASE do! There are countless tutorials on YouTube for both needle and shuttle tatting. If you are really more of a person to person learner please contact your local lace guild (yes, those things really do still exist) or go on InTatters.com. Either one would be able to put you into contact with a live body who can teach you how to tat.

There are countless other possibilities as well. Bobbin Lace which is drool worthy if only for the gorgeous bobbin opportunities out there. Romanian Point Lace (didn’t even know that was a thing until today), Armenian Lace and the list goes on.

Learning how to do it right really does make a difference.

Photo

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 07:26:41 -0700

ATTENTION ALL GIRLS AND LADIES: if you walk from home, school, office or anywhere and you are alone and you come across a little boy crying holding a piece of paper with an address on it, DO NOT TAKE HIM THERE! take him straight to the police station for this is the new 'gang' way of rape. The incident is getting worse. Warn your families. Reblog this so this message can get accross to everyone.

Tue, 03 Jul 2012 08:19:11 -0700

daintylittle-lassie:

I will always reblog things like this, it won’t ruin your blog or the look of it, and this could potentially save a life.

reblogged this already, BUT SPREAD AWARENESS!

It is always good for a person to be aware of what is going on. To be a little suspicious and think through a situation. Kind of like this post. If it seems a little too pat, it usually is. 5 seconds of research shows that this “story” is just that. A story.

letamariedesigns: Section of fossilized tree limb that is now...

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 07:43:55 -0700

letamariedesigns:

Section of fossilized tree limb that is now completely replaced by black opal.

"Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim."

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 15:18:55 -0700

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”

- Rereading Nora Ephron’s 1996 Wellesley commencement speech. It’s hilarious and bracing and wonderful. (via washingtonpoststyle)

Oh Dear.

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 17:29:23 -0700

Nerdling Spawn goes in this week to commence Phase I of Operation Straight Teeth.
In this case, Phase I involves installing a spacer
I am now suffering from guilt and anxiety.
Poor kid. I never had braces or any other variety of dental appliances so the idea of a hunk of metal cemented into your mouth for the express purpose of shoving the two sides of your palate further apart just sounds barbaric.
And yet, this is exactly what I’ve agreed to.
What in the Hell am I DOING???

I don’t normally do this. I figure most parents will make...

Sat, 23 Jun 2012 12:59:46 -0700

I don’t normally do this. I figure most parents will make their own mistakes with baby products and figure out what works for them on their own. Every now and then I run across something that makes me say “Really??”
Witness the “FlyeBaby Airplane Seat”.

I have no idea if this product really does what they claim. I think in theory it would. I know there is no way I would EVER spend the money on this product. I would also never use it.

Take one good long, hard look at the picture and what do you see?

I see enormous amounts of leg room you don’t even really see in First Class on your average 737.
I also see a seat in the full, upright position.
When was the last time you were on a flight where the person in front of you DIDN’T put their seat back? Then how well does this hammock work? What’s the point?
Suck it up and pay the 1/2 price for the seat next to you. You are going to need your car seat on the other side of that flight anyway. Might as well have something on hand baby is used to falling asleep in and you get to have your hands free to boot.

"From Planned Parenthood bombings to excommunicated nuns to legislative manipulation, I feel like a..."

Sat, 16 Jun 2012 18:29:59 -0700

“

From Planned Parenthood bombings to excommunicated nuns to legislative manipulation, I feel like a battering ram is being used against the women of this country. Stop it, every person without a vagina who thinks they have a say in what happens to mine. Stop it, every person with a vagina that isn’t mine. Stop making me repeat myself. Stop making me spend my time and energy fending off this degrading mental and ideological abuse.

It’s not moral or ethical to batter another person with the same question over and over and over in different phrasings, breaking them down to the point of exhaustion – then act against their oft-expressed wishes the moment they can no longer defend themselves. That’s not the behavior of someone who should be making laws. It’s the behavior of a spoiled child.

”

- Vagina Vagina Vagina. | | The One Stop Curiosity Shop (via wilwheaton)
Yes. Yes. YES.

Summer Time Blues

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 21:02:59 -0700

You know, it’s not the Summer Break I dread. It’s the two weeks leading UP to the end of school that has me laying in a stock of Baileys and Vodka.

That charming two weeks when children everywhere (OK. Maybe just mine) turn into stone-cold-stupid-raving-lunatics. I am pretty sure all three got up in the middle of the night about a week ago and stood around daring each other to stick their finger in a electrical outlet until one of them caved to peer pressure. This of course means that the remaining two then followed suit because it just looked like so damned much fun.

In any case, all three of them have been wandering around the house like a bunch of escapees from Arkham…or Azkaban. Let’s just say I do NOT envy the Mister taking a herd of 4th graders on a field trip tomorrow. *I* will stay behind with the home root canal kit, thankyouverymuch.

To be honest, the only time of year worse than the two weeks before school gets out is the two weeks before school starts again. The point where summer break is exactly two weeks too long, and the kids are all so sick of looking at each other they have hired hit men to take each other out.

Right now my Spawn are working on proving they are too stupid to breathe.

I have been nagging (my favorite activity! If only it were an Olympic event!) loud and long and hard about cleaning up after oneself. I have also been…well…PMSing. Not a good combination. That might explain why Mr.Fairy is out with the boys at the ball park tonight. It’s just safer that way. A self preservation tactic the Spawn have not caught on to. But I digress…

Back to the nag-a-thon.

Clearly, I am speaking a foreign language. “Clean…up? Socks? Shoes? Soccer gear? What are these things of which you speak, Mother? Are you perchance hallucinating? Forsooth! I see none of these fabled socks you claim are all over the floor! “

Actually. That would be an improvement. If I’m lucky, what I ACTUALLY get after my blood pressure has reached audible levels is one of the Spawn blearily looking up from their electronic device, desperately trying to place just where they’ve seen me before and why my face is that funny red color.

I have feeble hopes that this summer will be different. I am now armed with my Summer Commandments (Thou Shalt Clean Thy Room Daily, Thou Shalt Not Shed Thy Belongings Where Thou Wilt, etc), season passes to the local water park (Henceforth known as: Carrot), the remote control (Stick) and lots of lined paper (Whip).

Hopefully with a combination of the carrot —>stick —>whip I will at the very least train the Spawn that their shoes belong in their lockers in the garage. Their socks are not, in fact, a replacement for the area rug and that, this house is NOT a barn, DAMMIT!

And, if that doesn’t work at least now they stock the vodka right next to the milk case at the grocery store. One stop shopping!

laughingsquid: LEGO BrainBricks, Sensor Enabled LEGO...

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 10:39:50 -0700

laughingsquid:

LEGO BrainBricks, Sensor Enabled LEGO Bricks

This would completely blow Nerdling Spawn’s mind.